Knowledge Does Not Separate Poeple: Strategies To Help You And Your Child Survive Homework

Strategies To Help You

And Your Child
Survive Homework

by Linda Bress Silbert, Ph.D.
And Alvin J. Silbert, Ed.D

SPECIAL
NOTE From Adiety: As soon as I will start
again with write articles after several time I cannot present the
article. And to day I present the article from Linda
Bress Silbert, Ph.D. And Alvin J. Silbert, Ed.D on their article subject
is Strategies To
Help You And Your Child Survive Homework. And begin at the end
of August 2008, I will give you some articles from
Amazin.com, in many general subjects including some Humor articles for your nice
smiling.

Is
homework wreaking havoc in your home? If the answer is YES, then finding
the real causes behind the homework problems, and taking steps to
resolve them, will improve both school success and family harmony.

How do we know? Homework is the single biggest issue affecting home
life, according to many of the parents who bring their children to us at
STRONG Learning Centers®.

Here are the ten most common causes of homework problems, along with
suggestions to help you resolve them.

1. THE HOMEWORK IS TOO DIFFICULT.

If the homework is continuously too difficult, with everything that
entails, then a child will try to avoid it. Look into the cause. Begin
by having a conversation with the teacher. If the problem is class-wide,
hopefully the teacher will evaluate and adjust the nature of his or her
homework assignments. If the problem is limited to your child, she may
require additional help from the teacher after school, from you, from a
sibling, from a teenager you hire, or from a tutor. If this fails to
resolve the issue, then a reevaluation of the type of class, or course
level, or teaching vs. learning style, or school may be in order.

On the other hand, the cause of the problem may be a disability:
physical, learning and/or attentional. Your child may have difficulty in
such areas as: hearing, seeing, reading, processing language, or
writing, or she may have ADD or ADHD. If the problem is one of these,
sometimes it is easy to resolve. For example, corrective glasses can
easily resolve some seeing issues and behavioral therapy and/or possibly
medication might help AD/HD, the newer term for the disorder. In many
cases, consulting teachers, counselors, or specialists in the
appropriate field, might be in order.

Note: If you suspect AD/HD, a valuable resource is CHADD
(Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
organization). For information on the learning disability (LD) issue in
general, contact the Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA).

2. THE HOMEWORK IS TOO CONFUSING.

When children chronically complain that assignments or directions are
confusing, they are likely to become frustrated and/or anxious,
eventually avoiding such assignments. Parents usually respond to these
children by asking, "Weren't you listening?" Or "Just
read the directions!" The children were listening or reading, but
they may not have been able to process the information.

In this case, the cause may be reading comprehension and/or language
processing problems. You may need to seek the help of teachers or a
learning specialist to help your child learn strategies she can use to
overcome or compensate for her disability. For example, she may need to
put the words into pictures or graphic organizers. Children who become
confused due to problems with language processing, do better when they
can see things visually.

And, regardless of who is working with them, be sure they remain
actively involved. Children (and adults too) are notorious for shaking
their heads "yes" when asked "Do you understand?"
even when they don't understand. Sometimes they are just yessing you and
sometimes they think they understand. However, when you ask them to
explain or discuss what you were just talking about, they realize that
they really don’t understand.

If neither of these areas are the cause of the problem, then you may
need to investigate why your child continues to complain. If it turns
out it is simply a ploy to get you to do the work with him, then you
need to address the reason for that behavior. But wait – before you
get annoyed, remember what it was like for you when you were a child.
Homework isn't always fun, and sometimes it's nice to have a little
company. Your child may simply want your company during homework time.
Wow! How's that for the ultimate compliment?

3. THE HOMEWORK IS TOO LOW-QUALITY OR TOO
BORING.

Sometimes homework assignments are low-quality boring busywork and
children will avoid them simply because they don't want to do them.
Unfortunately, one of life's little lessons that children need to learn
is that sometimes we simply have to do boring things. If, however, every
assignment appears to be dull, too easy, or too low-quality, you may
need to talk to your child's teacher to determine the purpose of the
assignments. Many teachers do not realize how some of the assignments
are coming across to the children; chances are they will appreciate the
feedback and adjust the work as appropriate.

4. THE CHILD IS DISORGANIZED.

He brings home the book and forgets the assignment. He brings home the
assignment and forgets the book. Or he forgets the assignment and the
book. Does this sound familiar? If so, it sounds like you've got
yourself a disorganized child. The same is true for children who can’t
judge time or can't manage their time. They may have the best intentions
to get the homework done, but somehow it gets lost in their time-maze.

It is so difficult for disorganized children to get their homework done
that some of them would rather lie, insisting that there is no homework,
than be criticized and punished. If poor organizational skills seems to
be the issue, there are many books and articles that offer great
strategies to help the disorganized child. See, for example, pp 123-127
in Why Bad Grades Happen to Good Kids.

5. THE HOMEWORK IS TOO INTRUSIVE.

It's a fact; homework cuts into playtime. So what's the problem? The
problem is that in some cases homework time creeps up to the point of
consuming the home lives of the children and sometimes that of the
family as well. Besides the obvious down side, this may be harmful to
children's intellectual development. Their brains are developing and
they need to use all parts, and good quality play provides opportunities
to use the "far corners" of the brain that might otherwise
remain fallow. So, it turns out that children need to play.
Surprisingly, brain research indicates that occasional boredom is good,
too, as it forces children to think of things to do — that is, to use
their brains to create.

So if homework time seems to have taken over your home, work out a
schedule with your child so that he doesn't have to lie in order to
play.

6. TOO MUCH PARENT INVOLVEMENT.

Some parents are overly involved in their child's homework. Here are the
three most common types, all of whom tend to drive their children toward
lying and deception. If any of these describe you, then work to change
your behavior.

A. The "perfectionist parents." Perfectionists demand
picture-perfect-homework. Their children hate to let them see their
homework papers out of fear that they will judge the work unworthy, tear
it up, and make them do it again. Besides being tedious and time
demanding, in these extreme cases it is downright disrespectful of the
child.

B. The "helicopter parents." These parents hover over their
children, making sure that every "t" is crossed and every
"i" is dotted. They think they're being helpful, but here's
the problem: By not giving their children any breathing room, they are
delivering the tacit message that their children are not capable of
doing the work themselves. Not only does this harm their self-esteem,
but it also denies them the opportunity of taking responsibility for
their own work.

C. The "Pandora parents." The children of Pandora parents tend
to deny the existence of any homework they don't understand because
asking Mom or Dad even the simplest question is tantamount to opening
Pandora's box. Their well-meaning parents can't contain their enthusiasm
and turn what would ordinary require a short answer into a long-winded
treatise on some esoteric detail.

7. THE CHILD IS UNMOTIVATED.

Most children don't want to do homework. But while they may put up quite
a fuss, somehow they manage to get the work done. If they don't,
motivation may not be the problem; they may appear unmotivated, but this
may be a convincing protective screen they've set up to mask a larger
issue.

For example, many children appear unmotivated when in fact they avoid
homework to protect their egos. How's that? Because these children
erroneously equate failure with stupidity. Their logic is as follows: If
they try and fail, it is a reflection of their intelligence. If they
don't try and fail, it is not a reflection of their intelligence; it is
due to lack of motivation or irresponsibility. These labels they can
live with; the label "stupid," they can't!

8. TOO MUCH HOMEWORK.

Many kids simply cannot keep up with the projects, tests, quizzes,
reading and other assignments they are given.

Here is a general guide for the typical amount of time children should
be expected to spend on homework each school day. Grades K-2, about
10-20 minutes. Grades 3-6, about 30-60 minutes. Grades 7-12 will vary
considerably, depending on subjects, projects due, tests, etc., but a
reasonable average is about two hours, with more on weekends, as needed,
for major projects and exams.

If your child spends considerably more than this on homework, look into
the cause. Begin by having a conversation with the teacher. If the
problem is class-wide, hopefully the teacher will make adjustments. If
the problem is limited to your child because your child works slowly, or
has other issues discussed in this section, talk to his teacher and see
what can be done to modify his assignments.

9. IT'S TOO NOISY.

Many kids complain that they can't concentrate at home. Their siblings
are running around, TVs and music systems are blaring, someone's on the
phone, people are fighting, the dog is barking, the baby is crying. I
don't know about you, but I need quiet to do work that requires
thinking. Closed bedroom doors don't help much, as the muffled sounds of
chaos always manage to get through.

Here is an idealistic solution. Even if it can't be carried out fully,
at least it is something to aim for. As a family, consider designating a
block of time as quiet time. Normal living continues, but more quietly
than usual. Kids can use the time to do homework; parents can read,
balance the checkbook, and write e-mails; those who have time to watch
television can do so with headphones or the sound turned low. Sometimes
quiet sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

10. THE CHILD IS TOO ALONE.

Some children are lonely when required to do homework in their rooms,
and don't work efficiently in that setting. Some need continuous support
and direction. That is, they need someone to help them stay on task or
to provide a little assistance when they get stuck. If required to work
alone in their rooms, these are the kids who emerge three hours later
with little or nothing accomplished. Both groups of children tend to
prefer doing homework on the kitchen table. This way they have people
around them, either for support or company.

So, if homework causes chaos in your home, look into the reasons. Once
you find them, and do what you need to resolve the problems, you'll be
back on the road to school success and family harmony.

(Originally published at the Strong Learning website and reprinted with
permission of the authors, Linda Bress Silbert, Ph.D. and Alvin J.
Silbert, Ed.D.)